Do you notice how he continually ties her "disobedience" to her valuation as a human and status in their marriage? "I don't love you because you don't wear gloves", "You aren't a worthy wife because you don't do what I want when I want", "You need to be disciplined to be with me". Paraphrasing, but all very clear statements within the vi…
Do you notice how he continually ties her "disobedience" to her valuation as a human and status in their marriage? "I don't love you because you don't wear gloves", "You aren't a worthy wife because you don't do what I want when I want", "You need to be disciplined to be with me". Paraphrasing, but all very clear statements within the video.
These are controlling and infantilizing tactics. Making someone feel that they must serve you and be obedient to acquire love and worth as a person puts them in a position where they are conditioned to please you without thought for their own needs, desires or opinions. Your love becomes conditional, and the condition to fulfill is complete obedience. Because you have put them in a position where theyy are dependent on you for love and stability in heir life, they become increasingly conditioned to respond "positively" to this tactic. They increasingly learn what makes you happy and what makes you angry, and mold themselves to more precisely bring out pleasure in you to avoid punishment and abandonment.
Which brings the next point : hostage taking. This is a phenomenon where someone causes someone to be in constant fear that they will lose their place with you for a minor infraction. Threats of loss of love, divorce, suicide, etc. can all be ways that you are taken hostage.
Imagine being terrified every week that you don't know if the most important person in your life will leave you the instant you make a small mistake. That you will have to upend your life at any moment. In some cases, you could lose the roof over your head. Or your children. All for...not wearing gloves.
These types of abuse put the victim in an extended state of mental and physical high alert and executive function exhaustion which the body is not designed for, causing the stress reaction to become impaired in a condition known as complex post-traumatic stress disorder. I myself was diagnosed at the age of 24 with the condition due to abuse from my mother.
Do you notice how he continually ties her "disobedience" to her valuation as a human and status in their marriage? "I don't love you because you don't wear gloves", "You aren't a worthy wife because you don't do what I want when I want", "You need to be disciplined to be with me". Paraphrasing, but all very clear statements within the video.
These are controlling and infantilizing tactics. Making someone feel that they must serve you and be obedient to acquire love and worth as a person puts them in a position where they are conditioned to please you without thought for their own needs, desires or opinions. Your love becomes conditional, and the condition to fulfill is complete obedience. Because you have put them in a position where theyy are dependent on you for love and stability in heir life, they become increasingly conditioned to respond "positively" to this tactic. They increasingly learn what makes you happy and what makes you angry, and mold themselves to more precisely bring out pleasure in you to avoid punishment and abandonment.
Which brings the next point : hostage taking. This is a phenomenon where someone causes someone to be in constant fear that they will lose their place with you for a minor infraction. Threats of loss of love, divorce, suicide, etc. can all be ways that you are taken hostage.
Imagine being terrified every week that you don't know if the most important person in your life will leave you the instant you make a small mistake. That you will have to upend your life at any moment. In some cases, you could lose the roof over your head. Or your children. All for...not wearing gloves.
These types of abuse put the victim in an extended state of mental and physical high alert and executive function exhaustion which the body is not designed for, causing the stress reaction to become impaired in a condition known as complex post-traumatic stress disorder. I myself was diagnosed at the age of 24 with the condition due to abuse from my mother.