ADHD is a complex and misunderstood disorder. By sharing videos like this and writing down my internal monologue, I hope people who don't have ADHD will understand what it's like to live with it.
Thank you for sharing your experience. You are spot-on about the complexity of ADHD and people need to realize that those diagnosed with ADHD (or those who are, sadly, yet to be diagnosed) can experience the "symptoms" quite differently. There is a video I saw long ago which also somewhat replicates the experience. There are several people in my family with ADHD (some without hyperactivity). Some have more difficulty with organization, some with other aspects like impulsivity. My son, now an adult, had all that. Over time, I made a great effort to understand how he was thinking so I could better understand how to communicate with him effectively. For people who love folks with ADHD, I believe that's exceptionally important. My son, in particular, would jump from the beginning to a conclusion without filling in the details (he rapidly went through all the details in his mind, but didn't communicate them). Patience was the key. Your illustration is especially important for those who live with people who have ADHD. If you understand what's going on, it helps you to not do or stay stuff that's going to make the situation worse, rather then better.
Ha ha! I saw your article. Thought I could read it. Opened it but then decided to look at the video, got bored with it after a few sec. Suddenly found myself reading the tweets below yours. I brought back myself to the article. I have no idea why I started checking and responding my work emails in between. Anyhow, I finally came back to the article and read most of it. Funny thing is that I started reading it in the living room and ended up in my bedroom. When did I decide to change rooms and why?… Anyhow, I am a mother of two (yes, both have Adhd and very different types as a boy and a girl), I graduated from university, I am working in a corporate environment. I found a way to cope and getting professional help for my kids. Not everyone is as lucky and I appreciate your creation of awareness.
I'm pleased you're so successful! My daughter has ADD but is not hyperactive so she was ignored in school until she just quit going in 9th grade because she was ashamed to say when she lost track of the lesson.
I saw this title yesterday and put it aside thinking “I love Yashar for being so honest”.
This morning I read it.
Yashar, this is what being in my former cult did to my mind.
Finally after 33 years my mind was in such confusion I knew I could no longer make rational decisions.
I also have OCD and my belongings must be inorder. I spent 3 months perfectly putting my belongings into storage, gave away my business clients, paid every bill, closed all unneeded accounts.
I moved into my GTRV and on to the streets.
That was 16 years ago.
Not believing in psychiatry I learned what helped and what made it worse and went from there.
I quit making promises and on the spot decisions with a future.
I quit drinking because the hangovers were 10x worse.
I kept smoking because it kept me relaxed yet my mind attentive.
I started consuming cannabis butter which put me into a normal. Only a pea size worked for days.
And then its now been 6 years educating myself on neurology and how the mind works and the destructive aspects of the cult I had left behind.
It wasn’t till living in RVs another 7 years before I saw most of the problem was the cult.
So after by then 40 years of cult think I began consciously retraining my thoughts to exclude the ones added by the cult.
Now I’m 9 years into removing the cult and repairing the mess of my life I’d made by living someone else’s path.
I still have ADHD and OCD but know how to keep it under control.
I now am learning history, English, politics and the 12 years of schooling I missed as a child. At 21 when I joined the cult I was illiterate. Didn’t see the difference between there and their etc. I knew no history but my own. Simple things were not understood and would clog my mind with why, why, why.
That is a perfect place to be to be taken by a cult. The cult made life simple with it’s promise I was working 24/7 to save the world and the doctrine that had the illusion of explaining life. Mind growth stood still as it was not needed - I used the extensive subject indexes of the doctrine for all answers and thought they fit. The certainty keep me happy and healthy until it didn’t.
So now since mid 2016 I’ve finally been getting the cult think out of my thought processes. Life is better but it’s still a long way to go to catchup.
You are part of my education. Picking the right people to love is crucial.
Having the correct meds is crucial.
Alcohol is a disaster as the after effects create ADHD and depression yet this is where many low on dopamine go.
I’m working on quitting smoking now. Another problem was I would stop breathing but smoking substituted for taking those 5 or 6 deep breaths that work wonders to help calm and focus.
May we all learn ourselves and educate. It’s been my way out because know one understands my mind like I do.
You came very close. To add the cult think I would only add a few lines:
What did I do to cause that to occur?
I did that wrong and will have to confess.
Maybe there is another spirt hanging around and my thoughts are his?
My partner takes to long to respond so is not a good match.
My friend takes mind altering drugs so should be ignored.
After years of misdiagnosis and being wrongly medicated I was diagnosed and medicated for ADHD at 27 years old. Naively, I thought I couldn't have ADHD because I was never the kid to try to fight my teacher or stab other kids with scissors. But during the process the drawn out period of diagnosis I did a lot of research and realised my perception of ADHD was badly skewed and became certain that i did in fact have ADHD.
My diagnosis was incredibly relieving and being medicated completely changed the trajectory of my life.
Socially, professionally, mentally and emotionally I have seen significant growth in the seven years since my diagnosis. When i coupled it with sobriety almost 17 months ago things got even better again, but this is not to say my life is still without struggle.
I've learned that nothing will ever "cure" my ADHD and it's ridiculous to even consider that a possibility.
Slowly but surely though I have learned a bunch of tools to help me cope with ADHD and more importantly what things make my ADHD worse.
Honestly, I think sometimes my ADHD is more of a hindrance on those around me than it is on me. Sometimes when I'm displaying ADHD traits I'm oblivious to the fact that I'm doing so which must be frustrating to my partner and colleagues etc.
I think they key is to have honest and open conversations about the condition to the people around me and help them to understand ADHD properly. Not so that they can excuse the things I do, but so they can understand that I am trying, that I don't mean to be the way that I am and that some of the shitty things that I do are not intentional or not meant to upset others.
My partner is great but she is still learning. This is a great article/video which I'll send to her now to help her understand even further. There is a lot of content out there by professors and the like which is difficult for the common man to understand, so content like this is invaluable.
For myself, ADHD is like listening to a radio and not understanding most of the words. I realized that when I started medication and suddenly I understood what was being said.
I also take Adderall but I still have difficulty doing things like dishes, putting laundry away, paying bills, etc, but I think my depression factors into those things as well (I take Cymbalta for depression). Thank you for sharing.
More awareness! Definitely an understatement to say how much a spotlight needs to be shown on the crippling effect ADHD can have. I think more needs to be talked about as far as medication goes too. Sooo many parents are guilty of withholding meds bc they feel it's a stigma. Yes it is a parents choice. Sometimes therapy alone can help. But please don't expect miracles from the person with ADHD if they're not medicated.
The constant scheduling and rescheduling, prioritizing and reprioritizing is absolutely spot on. I feel like it's all-or-nothing thinking (dusting the desk after vacuuming the floor makes the vacuuming useless) combined with finding the perfect flow. As long as the flow in my day is good, I don't freeze. Unfortunately, my ADHD paralysis can also set in due to overwhelm from all the scheduling in my head. It's a thin line.
Wow, I watched the video. Part of me wonders if both of my sons (born 2004 and 2007) have it and that’s why they’ve always struggled in school despite testing into “gifted” in elementary. Have I failed them by not pursuing meds? I raised them alone and have so much second guessing, including wondering if I have it and somehow just compensated all these years because I had to. And then how do I distinguish it from the c-PTSD which I also feel that I have. So much food for thought.
Thank you for sharing your experience. You are spot-on about the complexity of ADHD and people need to realize that those diagnosed with ADHD (or those who are, sadly, yet to be diagnosed) can experience the "symptoms" quite differently. There is a video I saw long ago which also somewhat replicates the experience. There are several people in my family with ADHD (some without hyperactivity). Some have more difficulty with organization, some with other aspects like impulsivity. My son, now an adult, had all that. Over time, I made a great effort to understand how he was thinking so I could better understand how to communicate with him effectively. For people who love folks with ADHD, I believe that's exceptionally important. My son, in particular, would jump from the beginning to a conclusion without filling in the details (he rapidly went through all the details in his mind, but didn't communicate them). Patience was the key. Your illustration is especially important for those who live with people who have ADHD. If you understand what's going on, it helps you to not do or stay stuff that's going to make the situation worse, rather then better.
Exactly - that’s my goal. Thank you!
Ha ha! I saw your article. Thought I could read it. Opened it but then decided to look at the video, got bored with it after a few sec. Suddenly found myself reading the tweets below yours. I brought back myself to the article. I have no idea why I started checking and responding my work emails in between. Anyhow, I finally came back to the article and read most of it. Funny thing is that I started reading it in the living room and ended up in my bedroom. When did I decide to change rooms and why?… Anyhow, I am a mother of two (yes, both have Adhd and very different types as a boy and a girl), I graduated from university, I am working in a corporate environment. I found a way to cope and getting professional help for my kids. Not everyone is as lucky and I appreciate your creation of awareness.
Thank you so much for reading and I appreciate your struggle!
I'm pleased you're so successful! My daughter has ADD but is not hyperactive so she was ignored in school until she just quit going in 9th grade because she was ashamed to say when she lost track of the lesson.
Yashar, you are to be commended for posting this outstanding and educational topic. You've gone above and beyond.
Thank you, so much.
Thank you so much!
I saw this title yesterday and put it aside thinking “I love Yashar for being so honest”.
This morning I read it.
Yashar, this is what being in my former cult did to my mind.
Finally after 33 years my mind was in such confusion I knew I could no longer make rational decisions.
I also have OCD and my belongings must be inorder. I spent 3 months perfectly putting my belongings into storage, gave away my business clients, paid every bill, closed all unneeded accounts.
I moved into my GTRV and on to the streets.
That was 16 years ago.
Not believing in psychiatry I learned what helped and what made it worse and went from there.
I quit making promises and on the spot decisions with a future.
I quit drinking because the hangovers were 10x worse.
I kept smoking because it kept me relaxed yet my mind attentive.
I started consuming cannabis butter which put me into a normal. Only a pea size worked for days.
And then its now been 6 years educating myself on neurology and how the mind works and the destructive aspects of the cult I had left behind.
It wasn’t till living in RVs another 7 years before I saw most of the problem was the cult.
So after by then 40 years of cult think I began consciously retraining my thoughts to exclude the ones added by the cult.
Now I’m 9 years into removing the cult and repairing the mess of my life I’d made by living someone else’s path.
I still have ADHD and OCD but know how to keep it under control.
I now am learning history, English, politics and the 12 years of schooling I missed as a child. At 21 when I joined the cult I was illiterate. Didn’t see the difference between there and their etc. I knew no history but my own. Simple things were not understood and would clog my mind with why, why, why.
That is a perfect place to be to be taken by a cult. The cult made life simple with it’s promise I was working 24/7 to save the world and the doctrine that had the illusion of explaining life. Mind growth stood still as it was not needed - I used the extensive subject indexes of the doctrine for all answers and thought they fit. The certainty keep me happy and healthy until it didn’t.
So now since mid 2016 I’ve finally been getting the cult think out of my thought processes. Life is better but it’s still a long way to go to catchup.
You are part of my education. Picking the right people to love is crucial.
Having the correct meds is crucial.
Alcohol is a disaster as the after effects create ADHD and depression yet this is where many low on dopamine go.
I’m working on quitting smoking now. Another problem was I would stop breathing but smoking substituted for taking those 5 or 6 deep breaths that work wonders to help calm and focus.
May we all learn ourselves and educate. It’s been my way out because know one understands my mind like I do.
You came very close. To add the cult think I would only add a few lines:
What did I do to cause that to occur?
I did that wrong and will have to confess.
Maybe there is another spirt hanging around and my thoughts are his?
My partner takes to long to respond so is not a good match.
My friend takes mind altering drugs so should be ignored.
There are many more.
Love you 🥰
I really appreciate your explanation and insight. We have a 17 year old son who has ADHD, so this helps us understand what it’s like for him.
I’m so glad to hear that it helped. Thank you!
Thank you for writing this. 🩷
Wow
Thank you thank you thank you !!
put my head in sand for so long i need to get diagnosed /evaluated
that was incredible
This is brilliant.
After years of misdiagnosis and being wrongly medicated I was diagnosed and medicated for ADHD at 27 years old. Naively, I thought I couldn't have ADHD because I was never the kid to try to fight my teacher or stab other kids with scissors. But during the process the drawn out period of diagnosis I did a lot of research and realised my perception of ADHD was badly skewed and became certain that i did in fact have ADHD.
My diagnosis was incredibly relieving and being medicated completely changed the trajectory of my life.
Socially, professionally, mentally and emotionally I have seen significant growth in the seven years since my diagnosis. When i coupled it with sobriety almost 17 months ago things got even better again, but this is not to say my life is still without struggle.
I've learned that nothing will ever "cure" my ADHD and it's ridiculous to even consider that a possibility.
Slowly but surely though I have learned a bunch of tools to help me cope with ADHD and more importantly what things make my ADHD worse.
Honestly, I think sometimes my ADHD is more of a hindrance on those around me than it is on me. Sometimes when I'm displaying ADHD traits I'm oblivious to the fact that I'm doing so which must be frustrating to my partner and colleagues etc.
I think they key is to have honest and open conversations about the condition to the people around me and help them to understand ADHD properly. Not so that they can excuse the things I do, but so they can understand that I am trying, that I don't mean to be the way that I am and that some of the shitty things that I do are not intentional or not meant to upset others.
My partner is great but she is still learning. This is a great article/video which I'll send to her now to help her understand even further. There is a lot of content out there by professors and the like which is difficult for the common man to understand, so content like this is invaluable.
Thanks for sharing.
For myself, ADHD is like listening to a radio and not understanding most of the words. I realized that when I started medication and suddenly I understood what was being said.
https://www.facebook.com/reel/855723199463665?fs=e&s=TIeQ9V&mibextid=0NULKw
I also take Adderall but I still have difficulty doing things like dishes, putting laundry away, paying bills, etc, but I think my depression factors into those things as well (I take Cymbalta for depression). Thank you for sharing.
More awareness! Definitely an understatement to say how much a spotlight needs to be shown on the crippling effect ADHD can have. I think more needs to be talked about as far as medication goes too. Sooo many parents are guilty of withholding meds bc they feel it's a stigma. Yes it is a parents choice. Sometimes therapy alone can help. But please don't expect miracles from the person with ADHD if they're not medicated.
The constant scheduling and rescheduling, prioritizing and reprioritizing is absolutely spot on. I feel like it's all-or-nothing thinking (dusting the desk after vacuuming the floor makes the vacuuming useless) combined with finding the perfect flow. As long as the flow in my day is good, I don't freeze. Unfortunately, my ADHD paralysis can also set in due to overwhelm from all the scheduling in my head. It's a thin line.
Thank you for sharing this @yashar In your opinion, how can family members best support and appreciate how our loved ones are managing?
Wow, I watched the video. Part of me wonders if both of my sons (born 2004 and 2007) have it and that’s why they’ve always struggled in school despite testing into “gifted” in elementary. Have I failed them by not pursuing meds? I raised them alone and have so much second guessing, including wondering if I have it and somehow just compensated all these years because I had to. And then how do I distinguish it from the c-PTSD which I also feel that I have. So much food for thought.