2209 Comments

The DailyWire dodged a bullet.

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Is there any evidence of him being controlling or abusive outside this 3min video which also shows no abuse other than some odd talk about gloves?

What's the context here?

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Ladies, if a man you're interested in watches this video and asks "where's the abuse," run away. Run away fast.

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I am a conservative and traditional tough guy husband, but even I agree. If you don't see abuse here, you are a problem.

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I'm a woman and I see her as manipulative as him.

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She's a victim of domestic abuse. How do you want her to behave? She tries to appease him by telling him she loves him and is committed to him. That's what scared victims do.

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Apr 28, 2023·edited Apr 28, 2023

Yep, it's no different if a man was dealing with a wife threatening to harm themselves or something emotionally abusive such as that. You pretty much tell them what they want to hear in the moment until you can make yourself and others in a safe position. She's not manipulating, she's surviving.

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You are SO full of shit on every level.

She tries to avoid the actual conversation and her actions by saying she loves him, irrelevant to the conversation and an attempt to gain high ground.

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Correct because women are the victims 100% of the time and men are the abusers 100% of the time and women are perfect in every way and men are trash. Good luck being alone the rest of your life.

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based on what hes saying it sounds like shes cheated on him, and what he said...not that bad for someone who is apparrently a violent bully....this is garbage

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I do not think his behavior is acceptable at all, however, she was not afraid of him physically harming her and she's never claimed that. I didn't see any fear in regards to her physical safety that would require her to appease him.

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Or she’s attempting to change the subject so she doesn’t have to do shit she doesn’t want to do. Like it or not, ADULTS have to sometimes do things they don’t want to or don’t feel like doing. She’s pregnant NOT an invalid.

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Nah

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I highly doubt he knew your package has been delivered was being recorded himself

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It’s obvious from their body language who has the power in this dynamic. He is under no threat, not at all at risk, actively and repeatedly demeaning her. She is pacing, restless, afraid to leave, like she is caged and knows the patterns of her captor, knows what will happen if she tries to make an escape.

Attempting to manage the situation to get herself to a place of psychological and emotional safety isn’t manipulation. It’s self-defense.

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Oh good grief, she wanted to go buy something, so naturally, she was up and walking around.

Geez, you people and your imaginations.

It's ridiculous that people commenting just assume that he is the abuser while she is innocent.

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Why the fuck don't they have 2 cars? He is fucking rich.. The answer is CONTROL>

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I'm a woman and I don't see her being manipulative, I see her being scared.

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that makes you one of tucker carlson's favorite names for women

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I'm a woman and i am horrified by the way this man is acting

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If she wasn't 8 months pregnant, I would probably agree with you. We don't have enough information. However, I feel like in the final stages of pregnancy that maybe getting your wife pregnant and simping for your wife in the last month or two of pregnancy isn't the worst thing in the world and kind of what you signed up for. Stress heavily negatively impacts fetuses in the womb. For the sake of my children, I'd probably put in some sacrifices for the sake of my children's development in the womb. Especially when it's over small things, like having to sacrifice gym time to get groceries or give the dog medicine.

Saying that "this only ends with discipline and respect", in its own way is showing an immense disrespect for her and her concerns. It's just completely dismissive of her point of view.

Even not seeing what caused the conflict, I feel like that clearly demonstrates some abusive behavior. However, maybe it was a one-off situation (albeit an extremely poorly timed one-off considering is wife is 8 months pregnant....).

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yeah I'm wondering how he disciplines his wife. I can't imagine how he would have to get his children. Domineering to the extreme. Glad they are not subject to his constant "attentions."

The other thing that people forget when you are in an abusive relationship is that sometimes the victim is not going to act perfectly but that doesn't make them any less a victim. Clearly here she is trying to talk rationally and get a little time away from his craziness, maybe she has a therapist appointment to learn to deal with this, and she doesn't want to tell him, for all we know.

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Ok terf

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They were obviously in the middle of a argument that was not entirely captured by the film. There was no context at all. We have no idea how she behaves or what kind of passive aggressive stuff she pulls on him.

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I’m as terfy as it gets, and everyone in my Twitter circle is condemning this clearly abusive behavior. TERFs support women over men, always - no matter how those men identify.

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You must be so beaten down you don't see abuse anymore

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The guys that defend this do it because they don't see it as abuse, it's probably very normal for them.

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Then you have never been in an devaluing relationship and should be thanking God for that. She is not manipulating him, she is trying to diffuse his anger because she knows what will happen if she can’t. She is strong, and brave, and doesn’t put him down, she speaks truth, despite his cruel controlling and manipulative comments.

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You have no knowledge of this other commenter. You are making assumptions of them JUST LIKE the assumptions you are making of the video. Neither are based in facts. Narcissistic people can very easily make their partner look “crazy” or “evil” I find much of this video to be deceptively edited…ie why insist what was said directly after the video ended was something egregious yet not show it? If you cannot show it, why say it as a definitive? If only one party states something occurred w/o evidence it’s complete speculation.

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Ooh seriously wake up.

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I am woke and I'm sick of the way women whine about everything being 'abuse.' I'm sick of seeing men blamed for bad behavior when their wives/girlfriends are just as good at giving it back.

Especially since they turn around and claim that they are as strong as men. It is so pathetic.

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sounds like you don't understand how to de-escalate an argument.

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you are gross.

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She is being even more manipulative-the man is just pissed because it's the 1000th time she pulled this crap. She knows he needs to use the car for work but her sudden emergency nail appointment should take priority over his. Classic case of female abuse. And she is playing for the camera. To deflect the manipulation and falsely make the man the agressor, every abusive & manipuplating woman only needs to do is cry, make a pouty face when she doesn't get her way, and and say "I love you" when abusing him. Men remember AWALT, it's just a matter of degree.

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$100 says this guy has a criminal record that includes domestic abuse.

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He didn’t need the car for work. He said she could use the car is she walked the dogs and gave them medicine. He was punishing her for not wanting to do that while 8 months pregnant with twins. What man acts like that and then threatens his pregnant wife? He’s a faggot.

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LOL he said he needed the car to go to the gym and see his friends! Just fully making shit up to cover for some dude who doesn't know you're alive! He's a millionaire, son! He could BUY a new car tomorrow if he wanted one. There is one reason why he has one car: so he can control his spouse.

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One car....really!!! Guys worth millions.

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You are a horrible human

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oh I see you're the sort that tells a woman "I'm sorry but you made me hit you" uhhh

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Tying a noose is quite easy. Start by forming a loop with the rope, then make a knot at the bottom of the loop. Next, create a smaller loop at the top and bring the rope down through the first loop. Finally, pull the knot tight, and voila! You now have a perfect noose. Have fun!

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Wow dude nail appointment? Do you always just make shit up to make your points

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And YOU are JUST as bad, if not worse, than those making statements that she’s completely innocent and he is abusive.

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What we see looks pretty horrible regardless of context and Crowder seems to agree. But the context can make a difference - this could in fact be the 1000 time she’s challenging him and he blows his lid in response to that history rather than to the current situation. In a way that is horrible and abusive and he should have apologized for and in fact may have done it.

She was most likely the wrong choice, as was Landau, who’s a sniveling cunt derailing the show when Crowder is about to make a point. Both sort-of “tricked” him into committing and Crowder seems unable to accept and cut his losses, which is tbh so ugh and painful… He wants some sort of revenge, and that’s through abuse, and that can and has been turned against him.

Gerald or his father seem competent and loyal and should be able to help him navigate emotionally difficult situations. He needs to let them.

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How the 'Grift Right' Gimps for the Left . . . Steven Crowder almost became Mel Gibson and Kanye West by accident . . .

https://cwspangle.substack.com/p/how-the-grift-right-gimps-for-the

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Yikes

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I'm also conservative and a traditionalist, and I'm not afraid to call this what it is - wrong and abusive. If you can't admit that some conservatives are bad people and/or commit bad acts, you're in denial, and you probably aren't very confident about your own beliefs. I'm comfortable enough in my own beliefs to not think I have to endorse Crowder just because he shares the same political label as I do. He's seemed "off" to me for a long time, this only adds to it.

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May 19, 2023·edited May 19, 2023

IF YOU ARE “CONSERVATIVE” and yet you haven’t watched parts of statements being used to screw people over then I have to believe you are being disingenuous. “Calling people out” should be done without making biased judgements, w/o using the assumption of how you would react in the situation as a basis for him positively being at fault. MOST people have just stated that there isn’t enough context or knowledge about their relationship to say either way.

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There is zero abuse here. You're simply fucktarded.

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Both psychological and verbal abuse. "I'm going to f$ck you up" is a violent threat. Your last word isn't part of the English language either.

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Except NO ONE, including you, heard that statement so you are basing your argument on assumptions

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Monogamy is a hackneyed tenet of religion, an unnatural order created by Zionist churchmen to attach vicarious liabilities in the secular law, to control monarchial successions, as well as to establish ecclesiastic control over white female procreativity and white male posterity . . .

All men are born of a woman, married or not . . . Judaism is matriarchy . . . Jews trace their lineage through the women . . . Catholicism is the red headed stepchild of Judaism, Pope Father Bergoglio and all that patriarchy at the Vatican is nothing but a policy to spread the other cheek of altar boys.

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found the guy who beats his wife

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if you don't get shot when you're busy shooting up your school because no girl wants to go to prom with you, you're going to die alone, you incel loser.

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again another guy here who is advertising to the world that he would like to be able to abuse women like Crowder does.

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First, you'll need a sturdy rope, preferably one that can hold a decent amount of weight. Then, you'll want to create a loop at one end of the rope and tighten it so it stays in place. After that, take the long end of the rope and wrap it around the loop several times, making sure it's nice and tight. Finally, thread the long end of the rope through the loop and pull it tight. And voila! You have yourself a nice, tight hangman's knot.

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You are disturbed. And Reported.

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No, you're just a pathetic c*nt who proves the point you can just say whatever you want and pretend your accusation is evidence.

Now get a clue, then GFY with it.

Thanks.

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You cannot convince me you have never been in an argument that was worse than this.

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i haven't because i'm not a domestic abuser, like you evidently are.

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A) NO. B) YIKES. Way to tell on yourself.

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well not when I was eight months pregnant, yes I have been terrible at times to my husband of 30+ years especially in my 20s and he has been exceedingly patient with me. And yes Crowder is absolutely abusive. Steven Crowder claims to be a Christian right? That means he is to lay down his life even as Christ laid his life down for the church. I don't see him laying any life down here he's just browbeating her like a good old Pharisee threatening to throw the first stone. (though he has clearly been stoning her figuratively for a long time, this is a very familiar unhealthy pattern to them, you can tell by the way it is being done).

I don't doubt the possibility that she used to give it back to him but when you realize that that just fuels him more she learned how to Gray rock. And as she learned healthier communication habits he has gotten worse which is a very typical when you try to resist bad relationship behavior the sick one who doesn't want to change gets even worse. (incidentally, I would bet she has been seeing a therapist for her own sanity in secret and Stephen is probably pissed off that he doesn't know where she is at every second of the day).

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what would that prove even if someone was in a similar argument? Nothing. There are people who behave like Crowder and it doesn't make Crowder's behavior less abusive.

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OK ABUSER! WOW! Even if I was an asshole, I am entirely too intelligent to ever utter those kinds of words to a woman.

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No, unfortunately you refuse to see that it IS possible that a woman could be manipulative. This scenario COULD BE EITHER she COULD be being manipulative AND he COULD be being abusive. There is no way to know without more video or factual information.

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Intelligent well measured men, even if under manipulation, NEVER say the things this creature said. Even if she is the most wicked witch on the planet, she is of no threat to him and he need not be so aggressive. I can't stand so called men who raise their voices and posture aggressively toward women- they always act differently when a man is present. And, since my wife has bore me many many children, I can tell you she would never be asked to deal with stuffing pills up my dog's anus when she is 8 months pregnant, or pregnant at all for that matter. A real man would not expect that.

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I can't think of any medication that dogs take that way. However it's beside the point. She apparently had to hang up about handling the dogs medication because she was pregnant and didn't want it to affect the babies. Regardless of whether her fear was rational, Crowder was abusive towards her about it.

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wow. No one here is saying that Hillary is perfect or that she ever hasn't dished out something similar (quite possibly she used to and then realized it was not healthy and found other ways to try and communicate, deescalate, and set boundaries). But we are commenting on is the video. In that video Crowder is being abusive.

It's really very simple.

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You're not wrong.

Anyone that can look at this and hand wave it as hes not an abusive person, especially when he admitted to threatening to "fuck you up," is most likely very much the same.

If anyone sees this. Run from people like this. Immediately.

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bingo my dear.

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Gentlemen, if a lady you're interested in runs away after you make a remark like that, you got lucky.

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All I have to say to you is that if you think Crowder's behavior here is okay, normal, and healthy, you will never, ever have a happy marriage and you will die alone and miserable.

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Crowder appears to me a Narccisist on Steroids! This turd now scares me. His wife was 8 months pregnant....and we get this 3 year old tantrum behaviour. Shame....Shame...Shame on this Psychopath!

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I think IF this 3 min clip is representative of how he usually is (which we don't know) then sounds v anti social and I think he has a personality I'd hate to date someone with....having an off putting controlling personality is not abuse.

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he's literally ordering her around and screaming about discipline and making her do things that are dangerous to her health but there's no abuse? fuck you you disingenuous shit

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cutting off someone's access to a car, getting angry when she says she'll be back when she'll be back, demanding that SHE feed HIS dogs medicine (that may or may not be toxic to PREGNANT WOMEN), a steady stream of berating her, saying she's a bad, selfish wife, etc. all of those things are abusive. hope this helps.

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Ummm a controlling personality that leads to an attempt to umm "control" another person, a person you view as needing to submit to you, is the definition of being abusive. What would qualify as abuse to you?

Just bc its not physical abuse doesn't mean it isn't abusive. He was telling her she couldn't take the car & that if she didn't do what he wanted, it means she isn't doing her wifely duties. He's making his problem w her behavior & turning it around on her as if she's the one who needs to change instead of him. She brings up the fact what he's doing is abuse & he says "watch it. Fucking watch it" in a way i interpret as threatening bc he doesn't want to be called out for his bad behavior. I don't care what you call it- anti social or a controlling personality... Its abuse. Those are the ppl who have abusive violent tendencies. Personalities like anti-social or other personality disorders. I really hope you wouldn't excuse someone behaving this way as "not abuse".

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Simping for a guy who tells his 8 month pregnant wife he is going to F her up is having an off putting personality, actually telling your 8th month pregnant wife you are going to F her up is a personality disorder. Know the difference.

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Doesn’t really matter if it is representative. No one should act like that towards their spouse, even once.

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This is 100% abusive, full stop. Take a long look inward if you don’t think it is.

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Telling your very pregnant wife to take an Uber and to give medicine that is toxic to her and the unborn children, to his fucking dogs is most certainly a form of abuse. And he was very clearly projecting by saying that she was boxing him in and that she was preventing him from seeing people because she needed to go to the store for whatever bullshit he apparently wanted. And why exactly does someone with as much money as him only have one car? I’m guessing it’s so he can keep his wife stranded at home. That man is a piece of shit and so are you for defending him. You can both rot in hell.

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It certainly IS abuse. Just because he has a problem doesn’t mean he can treat others that way.

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He literally said "I will fuck you up" to his pregnant wife. Are you retarded?

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Not only is he exhibiting CLINICAL signs of an abusive partner, he's also showing traits of narcissism. The people who cannot see this and support him, even after he said he's done abusive things are not normal. They are not mentally normal.

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It's mean, but does not rise to the level of "abuse".

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You know what impresses me the most about you people is that you're gaslighting on behalf of Steven Crowder. You're basically doing the "you're overreacting" tactic that is extremely common for abusers to use on their victims.

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It’s not physical abuse, sure, but physical is not the only type of abuse, and this certainly looks verbally, and probably psychologically abusive.

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Fuck you, pussy ass little bitch. It starts with verbal abuse, then goes to physical and then murder. The most dangerous time for women is when they are divorcing or pregnant:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9562099/Depressed-dad-killed-two-sons-texted-wife-killings.html

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No, but years of this type of treatment does. It starts subtle one little put down about how your hair doesn’t look right. Then the next time it’s three or four things wrong with you and it just keeps going for the rest of your relationship and if you think that you’re at fault, it never ends.

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I'm sure your "tough guy" husband hasn't had 3 minutes he regretted in your marriage.

Give me a break. For starters, there is very little context. Second when operating at Steve's level, why is he so out of line to expect the same from his wife? As far as providing, it looks like he has held up his end of the bargain.

We don't even know their agreements or arrangements. To paint him as some diabolical figure based on this shows either some sort of confirmation bias, inexperience, or are some 3rd wave feminist, which if true, all 3 are true by default

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Congratulations on telling on yourself. No, normal people do not have these kinds of episodes, even when disagreeing with their partner. The fact you clearly do, and that you think it's normal, says that you are an abuser yourself, or have never been in a real relationship. Either way, you're out of your lane.

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I think you're responding to the wrong person. I do not have a "tough guy" husband, nor any husband, I'm actually a straight dude.

I can say this much from my own experience: my dad--probably the most masculine person I know, worked his ass off running a construction company, strong as a bull--never once spoke to my mom like this. They're happily married into their 70s.

Meanwhile Crowder's wife is divorcing him, and this video shows us everything we need to know to understand why.

Maybe you had fucked up parents who behaved like this and so you think it's normal and healthy. In which case, you should probably get therapy.

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Apr 29, 2023·edited Aug 5, 2023

there's very little context but you sure seem to know what it is.

Providing for and controlling are two very different things. He's pretty filthy Rich why does he only have one car and why can she not just go to the store? Do you micromanage your significant others life like that? Sad, if so, and sad if anybody lets you get away with it.

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to make excuses for him in this situation shows either some sort of confirmation bias, inexperience, or some third wave chauvinist incel influence.

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Apr 27, 2023·edited Apr 27, 2023

mankind would have been far better off if adam had asked for a bass boat and a case of beer.

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God, yes. Adam and all the little boys who believe in this fairytale at the concrete level should definitely get in that boat and motor far, far away from the rest of us.

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Big gay bass boat party your kind of thing? No judgement. You do you, boo.

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Adam didn't ask for anything, God gave him what he needed and then both of them ruined it.

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Sorry you had an abusive father and that you think this is normal.

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I had a father with a temper but it never was like this because my mother did the 1-2 hours of daily chores while he was risking life and limb to feed us.

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It must have felt great knowing that if she didn't get her chores done to his satisfaction he would lose his shit on her.

Make sure to treat anyone you're dating like they didn't get their chores done as many times as it takes for them to figure out you aren't a safe person and should not commingle their lives with yours. This isn't a healthy way to live and they deserve a heads-up.

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You're literally admitting you had an abusive father and are blaming your mother for the abuse she received.

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"the 1-2 hours of daily chores"

LOL tell me you've never lifted a finger around the house without telling me.

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You are a product of your environment and it's sad. It's sad bc if you have children you're going to continue on this abusive thought process.

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So, you took away the wrong lesson. Instead of learning to be a better person than that, you became an abuse apologist instead. You should be embarrassed to admit that.

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Said the incel, MGTOW, Red Pill dude not getting any ass.

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says the mentally lobotomized floppy slabs of used up roast beef hanging between your legs. you are valueless and no one will truly love you.

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I'm reminded of the ob-gyn who was mystified by this "roast beef hanging between your legs" bullshit, because that's not women work. It just underlines the sad fact you've never seen a vagina, and don't understand that, just like men, women can have a lot of sex without their genitals wearing out.

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I feel sorry for whatever person ends up getting stuck with you. Wow. What a piece of shit.

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Damn, you got owned bro

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You're gonna die alone.

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plenty of us have been married for over 30 years and aren't making excuses for abusive men.

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How can her labia be mentally lobotomized? Also having lots of sex doesn't change your genitals, unless you're having sex with a horse or something. Entire babies exit out of there and the vagina still manages to return to approximately its original size, if not its original size. I'm not even sure why you referred to labia to begin with; you stick your dick in the vagina.

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Is this coming from a long-taint scrotum owner? For real?

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Fuck you, pussy ass little bitch. It starts with verbal abuse, then goes to physical and then murder. The most dangerous time for women is when they are divorcing or pregnant:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9562099/Depressed-dad-killed-two-sons-texted-wife-killings.html

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Most men should avoid graveyard ass to begin with.

Get it?

Because you have a high kill score tattooed on the inside of your

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Most males aren't getting any ass, whether young or old. They are turning into angry little pussy ass incel bitches who show up on threads like this.

Their testosterone has plummeted due to desk jobs and they don't want to provide for and protect women and children. What is the point of even birthing you useless neanderthals into existence anymore?

Most males are going to die alone, while women are surrounded by loved ones. Do your research. It sucks to be a male. Women of any age can have sex whenever we want.

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so you force women to handle chemicals dangerous to their pregnancies to make you happy?

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Danno, you're a fucking loser. Hope that clarifies things

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Classic liberal.

Denigrated someone for something and attacks their character… then proceeds to do that very thing.

You’re argument is less than persuasive. You are displaying exactly what you are condemning.

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Response on an online message board compared to a husband verbally abusing his pregnant wife…totally the same!

Such a great point you made. Pat yourself on the back, since nobody else is there to do it for you.

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Lolol Jesus what a fucking nerd

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Lmao what a Loser.

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So, only conservatives are allowed to be assholes? Did you actually think liberals would just roll over and show their bellies? This ain't the 60s man. They are out for your blood, and my moderate ass is here for it 🍿

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Yes, this entire thread is filled with insults, prayers for death or harm, swear words, all by the people accusing Crowder of being a bloodthirsty, horrid person.

Amazing.

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Apr 27, 2023·edited Apr 27, 2023

No, actually she was the one who got lucky.

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you misspelled "She"

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based

factual

checked

women expire at 20

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Expire at what? Being 'things' to men?

You've got your porn and your impotence without your porn:

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/mar/11/young-men-porn-induced-erectile-dysfunction

Stay happy in your crunchy bed sheets.

Women don't want you.

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Fuck you. Danno is a pussy ass little bitch like this male who murdered his own children because his wife made him mad. "She knew what she was getting into."

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9562099/Depressed-dad-killed-two-sons-texted-wife-killings.html

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Apr 28, 2023·edited Apr 28, 2023

Nah man, the video alone could be Steven having a really bad day. What matters is full context, which the article provided. Was he remorseful? Was there a pattern? The answer is, of course, yes. Some things that don't appear a abuseful on the surface add real context. Why did this multimillionaire with a hectic schedule only own one car, rather than his and her car? It was a control tactic.

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Until the moment that I realized they only owned one car, I was willing to give that bastard the benefit of the doubt. But, he is financially abusing her.

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See pfungus ...that's not an answer to the question and you won't scare me off with snark and you won't deflect peoples attention by trying to embarrass them into pretending they see what they don't see

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I can't make you see what's already in plain sight. I don't know what your issues are but you probably need a therapist. Good luck out there chief

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Don't run away. Defend your point of view.

Humor me by itemising the abuse in the clip.

Tell me what he did that deserves to share a term with my 10 year old self being beaten everywhere but the face by one person and raped by another.

Abuse is a strong word. Abuser is a big accusation.

I think you Americans are just melodramatic and blow everything out of proportion so show me why I'm mistaken list the abuse I missed.

I have an open mind here I'm perfectly willing to believe he could be abusive but if I'm gonna call someone an abuser I need strong evidence/argument

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"Humor me by itemising the abuse in the clip."

I mean, I can just go write up a whole-ass transcript of the clip, and copy and paste it here. It's ALL abusive. I literally don't know how to describe it to you if you can't see it. It's like, if I were to point up at the sky on a clear day and say "that's the color blue" and you're like "I don't see any blue." I don't know what you want me to say. Seek therapy.

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1. He is banning his wife from leaving and driving.

2. He was manipulating her into performing difficult chores like buying barbecue items, walking the dogs and giving them toxic medication, when she’s 8 months pregnant with twins at this point and not really able to do these things.

3. He tells her he doesn’t love her after she says she loves him and is trying really hard to save their marriage.

4. He threatens her with “watch it, fucking watch it” when she accuses him of abuse.

5. He follows her and keeps tormenting her when she’s just trying to leave the situation - not allowing someone to leave is a textbook example of relationship abuse.

All of these are signs of EMOTIONAL abuse and potentially financial abuse regarding the car situation (different to physical abuse, like in your care), it is a legally defined term.

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Do you notice how he continually ties her "disobedience" to her valuation as a human and status in their marriage? "I don't love you because you don't wear gloves", "You aren't a worthy wife because you don't do what I want when I want", "You need to be disciplined to be with me". Paraphrasing, but all very clear statements within the video.

These are controlling and infantilizing tactics. Making someone feel that they must serve you and be obedient to acquire love and worth as a person puts them in a position where they are conditioned to please you without thought for their own needs, desires or opinions. Your love becomes conditional, and the condition to fulfill is complete obedience. Because you have put them in a position where theyy are dependent on you for love and stability in heir life, they become increasingly conditioned to respond "positively" to this tactic. They increasingly learn what makes you happy and what makes you angry, and mold themselves to more precisely bring out pleasure in you to avoid punishment and abandonment.

Which brings the next point : hostage taking. This is a phenomenon where someone causes someone to be in constant fear that they will lose their place with you for a minor infraction. Threats of loss of love, divorce, suicide, etc. can all be ways that you are taken hostage.

Imagine being terrified every week that you don't know if the most important person in your life will leave you the instant you make a small mistake. That you will have to upend your life at any moment. In some cases, you could lose the roof over your head. Or your children. All for...not wearing gloves.

These types of abuse put the victim in an extended state of mental and physical high alert and executive function exhaustion which the body is not designed for, causing the stress reaction to become impaired in a condition known as complex post-traumatic stress disorder. I myself was diagnosed at the age of 24 with the condition due to abuse from my mother.

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Just because it’s not physically abusive doesn’t mean it’s not abuse. Emotional abuse exsists! The way he turned everything she said back around on her and made her the problem, controlled her etc. that’s crazy making! Years of that behavior creates CPTSD. It’s abuse, maybe not abuse you are familiar with or have experienced in your life but it is abuse.

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Apr 28, 2023·edited Apr 28, 2023

I'm not writing this to be rude, but I'm writing this as a fellow human being - a concerned human. If you were raped and/or abused as a child (or any age) you desperately need therapy ---- not short term, but intensive therapy. I really hope you have received that, and I hope it is ongoing. The trauma that abuse, especially sexual abuse, causes at such a young age is so detrimental - I am begging you, please, please, please, lease get therapy. Please..... Please.. Like, I am literally begging you. Please. Please.

"Survivors of sexual assault can benefit from several types of psychotherapy including psychodynamic psychotherapy, TF-CBT, and EMDR. Processing abuse and trauma is a helpful and necessary step to recovery and is the main focus in these treatment modalities." (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7239557/)

Now, to talk about abuse. As everyone else has mentioned, there are different types of abuse - physical, sexual, mental, emotional.

Being controlling (especially very controlling) is one form of abuse - the only person you have real control over is yourself, and that should be enough. Everything else is an agreement, and broken agreements shouldn't cause such a reaction.

They only have one car, which I find astounding given their income. Nearly everyone middle class and above has one car per driving adult in the household, and when you get to upper class, it's very common for a 2 parent household to actually have 3 cars (one which they use as a collectable/hobby car/to flex etc) or more. The fact that they only have one car is very indicative that he is abusive and wants her to remain home all the time - what does she do while he's at work? My aunt is stay at home, traditional wife and didn't even have kids --- she has a car to run errands or go out, my uncle has his own car to go to work in, and they even have a third car that they inherited and keep as a spare for when their cars are in the shop. He certainly doesn't have as much money as Crowder. It is very common for abusive spouses to isolate their spouse as much as possible - not allowing them to work, have a car, or general independence is a big indicator of that. How can they leave if they don't have any of the means to do so? More so, the fact that she asked "who would you like me to call for a ride?" - WHAT ADULT has to ask their spouse who can give them a ride???? what?????? It's literally like she is at one point allowed privileges like a child, but also, like she is arguing with a controlling toddler - because, well, she is.

I too suffered with extreme anger, but after being medicated and getting therapy for many years, it's a lot better. It's still present at times, but I try my absolute best to never ever take it out on people/any living beings - sometimes I scream at my computer, sometimes I stomp my feet, sometimes I huff and call someone an asshole (if they're being an asshole), give them attitude, glutaral scream by myself/at the sky - but I never let it go beyond that. And I'm still working on it (and getting better).

Finally, here are some helpful links that outline various forms of non-physical abuse (they're written by experts, so far more credible than a comment section!):

https://maggiesresource.com/are-you-in-an-abusive-relationship-c110.php

https://www.regain.us/advice/domestic-violence/a-short-emotional-abuse-checklist-20-red-flags-in-your-relationship-what-you-can-do/

"3. You are asked to check in with your partner at all times to let them know where you are and who you are with, even when spending time with close relatives." - he did that by saying "back when you're back isn't good enough" and her feeling the need to ask who she can get a ride from, and him saying uber --- not even a friend. Him demanding he needs to know the exact time.

"4. Your partner blocks you during conversations or changes the subject to reflect it onto you and your behavior." - ..... the entire video.

"6. Your partner makes you feel as if your feelings are wrong or don't matter." him saying she must do wifely duties, that she's not a devoted or committed wife etc.

"7. Your partner makes you apologize for what you didn't do." - she said I'm sorry and idk what even for.

"10. Your partner has heightened mood swings. One moment they may seem distant, the next, they are unavailable, and then they are loving. You may feel you don't know what to expect or what version of them you get, so you try to change your behaviors to receive love and affection, often to no avail." - entire video. Her saying I love you, and him saying I don't love you.

"15. Your partner has unrealistic expectations or standards and criticizes or harms you if you don't meet them."

"16. They invalidate you, claim you're too sensitive or emotional, refuse to accept your perceptions or opinions, and suggest you are wrong. "

"18. They use emotional blackmail through manipulation, being in control, lying, or using compassion, fear, and other emotions to control the situation."

"19. They act entitled or superior while acting condescending, using sarcasm, treating you as inferior, and acting as if they are always right."

"20. They control you through isolation by taking away possessions, making fun of your loved ones, or using envy or jealousy to keep you from others."

By the state of Nevada: https://ag.nv.gov/uploadedFiles/agnvgov/Content/Hot_Topics/Victims/DVPC/EmotionalAbuseChecklist.pdf

"Are you expected to drop what you’re doing to meet

your partner’s needs?" "Do you have to account for all your time?" "Does your partner insist that everything is your fault?" "Do you have to ask permission to see or spend time with friends or family?" "Does your partner use violence or threats during an argument?" "Does your partner compare you negatively to others?" "Does your partner use “guilt trips” to manipulate you?"

Somehow, all of these things were present in a 3 minute clip - absolutely crazy.

https://www.marriage.com/advice/domestic-violence-and-abuse/emotional-abuse-checklist/

If I somehow need to give you more --- I really can't, but google is free and easy to use.

Again, I do hope you get help. A child being abused is so serious and you desperately deserve and need help (not due to your behavior, but because abuse is so serious).

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Apr 28, 2023·edited Apr 28, 2023

No one is telling you that you didn’t experience abuse, how would we know? Can’t you suffer abuse while someone else is experiencing a lesser degree of abuse? Is anything less bad than what you have personally endured not considered abuse to you? It isn’t a dick measuring contest about who has had it worse, with your personal experiences being the threshold for what constitutes as abuse. Holy shit man.

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"DeBATe mE PplllEEAAsse"

LMAO

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He, she, it, They can’t… because it doesn’t exist.

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Being controlling absolutely CAN be abuse. It’s generally acknowledged that controlling behavior is a common first step in the timeline of many abusive relationships. Physical abuse is usually not far behind. We do not see physical abuse in this clip, but we do see verbal abuse and gaslighting. When we consider statistics, such as homicide is the leading cause of death among pregnant women, we realize that we are not effing around here. This video is very troublesome. Not only is he arguing with her over a task (administering dog medication) that seems to be an inappropriate ask in the first place (toxic to preggos) he then spins her lack of compliance as a personal failure on her part as a wife, establishes himself as a victim who has been “disrespected,” and tries to prevent her from leaving (can’t take the car). We see him becoming more agitated and angry as the clip goes on. She attempts to placate him, but ultimately he chases her into the house and says “I’m going to fuck you up.” Now, what part of this story sounds okay to you? To me his behavior screams DANGER. This is not a good guy. This is not a family man. This is another statistic waiting to happen.

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Weaponizing your own pain to silence others is a really disgusting way to go about things, and you should probably get some help for that, rather than blaming anyone's nationality. Emotional abuse is not just an American concept.

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I hope someone rips your asshole open by raping you and then we can say nah you didn't get abused.

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i CaNt DeFiNe It BeCaUsE iT's In PlAiN sIgHt. gEt HeLp durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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Found the incel

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rope

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She dated him for two years before they married. You don't think he ever exhibited this behavior in those two years? You don't think she understood his views on marriage and expectations of traditional marriage roles? Yet she still married him.

I think she knew what she was getting into. She knew his expectations for having a traditional wife, and what those expected wifely duties were. I am not suggesting what he did in this video is right, however, I suspect there are two sides to this larger story and she isn't as innocent in all of this as she seems.

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Actually, no... you do not know what people are like before you marry them. They're Christians, and they wouldn't have lived together. I think they were both virgins, too. So, she had no prior relationships, hadn't lived with him, etc. She had no clue. Your statement is retarded. He literally refuses to let her have a car and holds the use of the car over her head, until she "performs wifely duties" to his satisifaction. That's not a traditional relationship... that's some BDSM shit, and Crowder is a disgusting sadist. I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt until I saw that.

People who look at this and see anything other than very abusive behavior need therapy. I say that as a VERY far right wing happily married woman.

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I am probably more conservative than Steven Crowder because I don't like Trump.... and I'm a Christian and I can certainly say that this is abusive behavior. You have to be willfully blind not to see it.

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I’m not saying it isn’t abusive behavior, and if this is the norm in their relationship, then Crowder needs help.

But 3 minutes isn’t enough context. She could have been poking and prodding at him all week long and we would have no idea. Narcissists are deaths by a thousand cuts — their victims lash out as their sanity is being taken from them.

I believe Crowder is likely the abuser because he exhibits behavior similar to my ex-wife with NPD, but I’m still a reasonable person and understand 3 minutes is not enough context.

It does not look good for Crowder though.

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yes, and he could've been poking and prodding her couldn't he? In my experience with abusive people they are the ones who do the poking and prodding and needling hoping to get you to snap, and then they yell at you just like Crowder is doing to his wife.

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"She dated him for two years before they married. You don't think he ever exhibited this behavior in those two years?"

I literally don't give a fuck. Some people stay in abusive relationships their entire lives. People are weird. Abuse is abuse.

"I am not suggesting what he did in this video is right"

Good then it's settled, I don't even know why you responded to me.

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I am a man that had a terribly abusive ex-wife. Everyone around me knew it, but I couldn’t leave for the longest time. The items you list here LACK CONTEXT. Narcissistic people, especially NPD women, need more than a 3 minute video clip to determine they are the abusers. I’ve lost my temper before with my, now NPD diagnosed ex-wife, and if you saw a 3 minute clip during one of those times, I would be painted as the abuser.

I am totally open to the fact that it doesn’t make Crowder look good, that’s for sure. And I lean towards Crowder probably being the abuser in this relationship (that’s clear, one of them is emotionally abusive). But nobody here can make any determination on who it is based on this clip alone.

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Apr 28, 2023·edited Apr 28, 2023

A number of people in here who are defending Crowder claim to have been the victims of abuse themselves. And to them I say: well that just makes perfect sense. It's not surprising at all to me this does not seem like abuse to you; abuse has been normalized for you, so Crowder's behavior seems less outlandish. But while it may not elevate to the worst things you've experienced, that does not mean it's not abuse.

My experience is the opposite: I've never suffered abuse. I have loving parents, my dad NEVER spoke to my mom like that, they're still happily married in their 70s.

Thanks to past trauma, you are incapable of identifying abuse when you see it, because abuse has been normalized in your life. This means you're more likely to be the victim of abuse in the future. You need therapy.

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you can be abusive in reaction to abuse that is certainly possible. it's the system that abusers like to set up for themselves. But if you listen to this thinking back to what Crowder said about his marriage just a few days ago you'll realize that his stories do not match up. He did not look like he had lost his temper in response to something she had done, he was just sitting there in the chair being a smart ass, berating, browbeating, insulting, demanding she do something that she feared was harmful in her condition (whether or not that was true, demanding she do it does not erase her fear) so it sounds like he's the NPD in this scenario.

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This is called blaming the victim. You're disgusting.

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No, it's called being unbiased until more information is available.

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He may or may not have. Abusive partners can often hide who they really are for years. Add to the fact that you can't always readily divorce someone in certain places, and it's entirely feasible that people pretend to be simeone they're not until they've trapped their partner, whether it be legally, socially, financially, etc..

Also, people can change.

None of this is really that hard to comprehend if you reflect a little harder and or do some "research" on abusive relationships.

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you're right, she chose wrong

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kys

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Oh yeah im saying wow get out now

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Right! Because unless a man prostrates himself and God forbid, not ever argue with his wife, he's bad. Apparently, she's unemployed and doesn't take care of him as a wife should.

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While I realize your tiny little baby brain doesn't have room for anything in between a man "prostrating himself" and outright abusing his wife, I hope you can understand that a healthy relationship lies somewhere between those two extremes.

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hey quick question bob, is telling your wife that you're gonna "fuck them up" just a simple argument?

Because in the state of Texas, it's considered Assault, and is a crime.

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She's carrying his fucking kids, loser. That's not only a job, it is the most important job on this earth. What Steven Crowder does is kind of fucking useless in the grand scheme, and his progeny won't give a fuck, but they'll appreciate his wife bearing them. Being pregnant is extremely hard and it can maim or kill you. It is a very high risk thing and used to be the #1 cause of death in women of child bearing age. It is still deadly.

Also, his wife isn't permitted to own a car, and he gets to decide when and if she uses "the family car"? Is that right? Nobody's allowed to pick her up to run errands until she slathers dangerous chemicals all over their dog at 8mos pregnant?

This isn't about submitting as a man... this is about an 8mo pregnant woman not being stomped all over and treated like a goddamn slave. Get help. You're mentally unwell. Seriously. There is a screw loose.

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Apr 28, 2023·edited Apr 28, 2023

did you miss the 8 months pregnant part, asshole. there is no two sides to that.

honor thy wife... is promised THEN they do wifely duties and obey. HONOR thy wife.

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kys

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I’m curious why people are shocked that you will jump to conclusions from a 3 minute video even after watching you jump to “Run away, run away fast.” because someone points out there is no definitive abuse in that clip.

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Threatening to fuck someone up is a crime in pretty much every civilized country. The fact that he did that over her trying to go buy GROCERIES show's how unhinged he is. Also, the "odd talk about gloves" is another example of his extreme unreasonableness. The medication was potentially harmful to his unborn children, and instead of being a protective husband and administering it himself to their dog - he was berating her for not taking the risk on herself. Along with screaming at her for not walking their active dog while she was 8 months pregnant - something he also should have taken on as getting up off a chair is already difficult enough at that stage and she was pregnant with TWINS. He's insane and was being an awful and threatening partner to his wife during her most vulnerable time. That's sick and intolerable.

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Saying I'll fuck you up or other stupid mid argument comments is not a crime anywhere I know of.

I've said worse without meaning it literally.

I'm willing to believe he may be abusive. I'm just saying I won't accept it based on one 3 min clip with no context and the fact that I don't like his politics.

I like to force myself to be objective in these situations and not do what most people here are doing on either side: decide with their emotions not logic based on who's team they were on before.

Nothing you mentioned is abuse. It's being an asshole.

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You are absolutely deranged if you think this is an okay way to talk to your partner, family, or friends. Get into therapy

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The old internet trope of arguing with a position someone doesn't hold is still alive n well I see. Lol

Nice to know I didn't miss anything

I don't think it's ok.

I just don't think being mean to somone during an argument gets to share the same term as raping beating and mentally torturing or manipulating...I think if you conflate the two you make people take the term less seriously...which is what happened to "depression" the terms now lost all potency from overuse.

I think it's bad for victims of abuse to risk watering down these terms.

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Hey, a lot of people in this thread are being dumb-assholes who aren't actually explaining what is wrong here. It is absolutely asshole behaviour to just call you an idiot when you clearly want a detailed explanation from someone who knows what they are talking about. So let me explain it for you; and as a preamble to that I'll tell you my credentials to make this explanation.

I am now in my early 20s and am in a good place up until quite recently, this was not the case... At the age of around 5-6 my mother found out that my father had been sexually abusing me and my siblings. we went through several years of court, horribly traumatic. During this time, my mother became part of a sort of cult. She became very devoted and made sure we were too. I believed until around 13, I then did not want to be a part of it. I got into numerous arguments with my mother, and eventually I made it clear I didn't believe in her beliefs. From there she became ever more controlling. As a boy growing up, around the age of 12 she made me bleach my facial hair because her "baby was growing up too fast." The fumes burned my eyes and I didn't want to do it. She didn't let me cut my hair and we were in an isolated location so I had nowhere to go. My mom was never overtly physically abusive, but she was one of the most manipulative people I have ever met in my life. I know exactly what verbal manipulation and abuse looks like. I was aware of her abusive tactics for at least 5 or more years before I was able to escape.

The behaviour Crowder displays here is extremely similar to what I experienced. Making love conditional, or trying to control how it is expressed. Isolating the victim so they are trapped. (Be serious, Crowder owns a multi-million dollar house, and makes millions per year but he only has 1 fucking car?) He expects his wife to do all these duties but also somehow not with the car? She is at the peak of her pregnancy, many people cannot even move, or get extremely tired in that state. But he expects her to walk the dogs, do all these chores, possibly expose their unborn children to harmful chemicals in the dog medication, while he sits there smoking a fucking cigar.

He is not being mean to her, he is being extremely threatening. He is the 'breadwinner' which is how he wants it to be in their relationship because he's a classic conservative. The problem is he expects, since he has all the money, he can simply order his wife around to do absolutely everything for him. Being mean or even an asshole would be making her do the dishes after she cooked him dinner in her state of pregnancy. At that point she really shouldn't be expected to do anything, her job is to keep her body in a state that is healthiest for the children. If that is what her job is, then by his own ideology, he should be protecting his wife and kids right? She could literally die if there were complications due to the pregnancy, she is clearly distressed here. Stress is one of the #1 things that can cause complications, he is being a massive piece of shit and possibly endangering his wife and unborn children's lives. He is causing her physical pain through stress caused by verbal abuse. It is much easier to be in pain from emotional turmoil when you're pregnant. He is literally harming her, not just being 'mean'. Even if this was a completely isolated incident (which I highly doubt it is), it is still abusive behaviour. Abuse does not necessarily need to be chronic, if I was a parent and I hit my child with a wrench, would that not be considered abuse? Would it not be indicative of other possible abuse? Some people may see it as discipline, but causing physical or mental harm to vurlnerable people is certainly abusive.

Obviously she is her own person and she can also do things for herself, but she should be ensuring that their unborn twins are kept safe at such a critical time. She is trying to do that, but being degraded by him, which is causing her stress, which is harmful to her health and her children's health. This is absolutely abusive behavior, it is manipulative behaviour. This is not being just 'mean' to someone.

This is not an example of conflating terms, sure, people may over exaggerate, but each case should always be taken seriously when someone claims abuse. In this case, there is literal video evidence of abusive behaviour. No matter which way you look at it, this is absolutely unnacceptable behaviour for a husband to exhibit to his wife. Especially when she is that pregnant.

I'm not calling you an idiot, or anything like that, I am telling you that you need to reevaluate how you define or percieve a situation like this. A 'short' video like this can absolutely display abusive behaviour, then it is up to whatever investigative forces to see if said abuse is chronic. In these kinds of cases it usually is, and based on other things in the article, I am inclined to believe it so. I will rescind that statement if further evidence says otherwise. I will however, not rescind my statement about this video showing abuse, it absolutely does.

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You know absolutely know about psychology and the various branches of it and it shows. You also think you're somehow better than everyone and no one should call out your stupidity.

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No one said it is ok.

He was a jerk.

It’s not abuse.

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It is literally in the definition of abuse:

a·buse

verb

/əˈbyo͞oz/

to treat (a person or an animal) with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly.

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Says BOWSER, a character that legit had no friends. Stay on the internet, friend

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Did you just try and own someone in the comments by flexing with your knowledge of Super Mario Bros characters? That is hilarious

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Him being an asshole isn't what ppl are calling abuse. Its the tactics he was using to try & get her to do what he wanted that is abusive. I think you should prob look into what gaslighting looks like, what psychological abuse in a romantic relationship looks like. You're hesitant bc it was just a 3 min clip w no context but here's the thing... You don't need a ton of context to know that how he was treating her, the twisting of what she would say, turning things back to him, making her out to be the selfish one who doesn't care about him, not being "worthy", all of that is textbook emotional abuse within a romantic relationship. Steven clearly wants to control ppl around him & his wife was no exception. He is very calm in that clip, he's not shouting or shrieking, which is often more terrifying. You can tell she was trying to keep the peace & set her own boundary but he refused to see it & made it about himself & gasli the hell outta her.

It's abuse dude.. No question.

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I can promise anyone that if I told you in a parking lot that I would fuck you up, you would quickly call the Police right after pissing your pants. The internet tough guy smart ass thing only works in fantasy land. Act like that towards an actual man.

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I don't call the cops because someone I already know has never hit me and isn't violent says something in anger.

Normal people don't behave like that here...maybe it's an American thing your country does seem to be one giant mental illness factory

You just love drama. Everything has to be blown out of all proportion. Mass hysteria is More a national pastime than baseball.

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Maybe you're just a fucking pussy

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Dude you were one of the first people on here to comment and defend his behavior, so now tell me who wants to blow things out of proportion and be dramatic?

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"Internet tough guys would piss their pants if I threatened them in person" typed the guy acting tough on the internet.

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Who is apparently very bothered by verbal abuse lol.

Pot, meet kettle.

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This exact thing happened to me and nothing was done. Police laughed at me and never came.

This is not a crime.

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"Police laughed at me"

Well of course they did child

"and never came"

Then they shared the fate of any of the women you roofied into sex

Just kidding! You've never had sex

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Neither of those things would happen, because I live in a constitutional carry state.

If you told me that, I’d politely ask you to keep your distance, but if you followed through on your threat, well…

That would be sad for all involved.

Perhaps it works the way you stated in your liberal utopia, but fortunately we all have the choice to not live in your, fantasy land, as you put it.

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Oh look. Another scaredy-cat terrified of leaving his house without his security blanket. Trigger-happy people like you are a danger to society and need to stay home.

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Imagine not knowing the laws of the country you live in. In no state can you pull a weapon on someone that doesn’t have one themselves.

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FUCK OFF

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Threatening "I'll fuck you up" IS threatening physical violence. PERIOD. That the threat is aimed at a heavily pregnant woman makes it more egregious.

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Good luck in life.

You’ll need it.

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Clearly, you are a woman. No duh

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Kill yourself

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Hey now, there are plenty of decent men out there.

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It's a criminal threat, actually.

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Call the cops next time someone says they'll fuck you up but takes no actual action against you.

See how annoyed they get at you wasting police time

Have all of the USA become such wusses or is it just the youth??

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Fuck off Ryan.

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It's interesting how your argument has evolved from "it's not abuse" to "everyone is a bunch of pussies because they see abuse as abuse"

Just admit you're a crowder fan and you're big sad that he's an abusive asshole. You'll come to terms with it quicker.

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Hey get this, I live in fucking Texas and I have called the cops on an abusive and mentally ill family member after they went on a rampage destroying the house and literally while on the phone with the operator they were actively threatening to fuck me up if I didn't put the phone down. Guess what happened? Somebody got slapped with a class a misdemeanor and spent some time in jail. Wanna know where he is now? Oceans behavioral hospital.

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Apr 27, 2023·edited Apr 27, 2023

Bro we get it , you’re his bisexual lover

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